I’m A Meatatarian And Proud Of It!

8 Apr

I am a meatatarian.

I dislike vegetables, and fruit is just okay.

I do not eat vegetables on pizza, I do not eat vegetables in Thai dishes, and I will not eat them just because you say they’re good. I will not get scurvy, because I am not a pirate. Meatatarian doesn’t come up in spellcheck because it’s a real thing, so there.

I am a meatatarian. And I am fine with that.

Okay, so I’m not quite that bad. But, I do not like a lot of veg, especially not when cooked, and I’m getting tired of dealing with it.

The other night for dinner, He and I headed out to dinner with His dad. We went to a Thai place, which I actually love. Thing is, as with most Thai dishes, it came with a buttload of vegetables on it. As frustrating as it is for me to have to pick through my food and push them to the side before I eat it, it only adds salt to the wound when people bring it up. What kills me is that it’s usually people who I’ve eaten with 50 times before that have a habit of doing this, as if it’s something new (not that I would expect His dad, with four kids of his own, to remember something I don’t like. My own Dad still asks me and he only has one kid to worry about!).

No, I don’t like broccoli. What is it I don’t like about it? Everything. I’ve been not liking it for 24 years – can I please continue not liking it in peace and dealing with it instead of having it brought up time and time again? No? Really…? Crapstick.

The OTHER other at my work we had a beautiful catered meal of pizza and salad – something I was super excited for. But, unfortunately, the pizza (all three of them) came with – you guessed it – a buttload of veg.

Now – don’t get my wrong. I’m not complaining that I happen to work for a place awesome enough that it supplies me lunch every once in awhile. I’m totally aware of how bitchin’ it is.

But, what I do find surprising, is the different food concerns that are both taken and not taken into account. Not just at work of course, where I get that catering to my picky tastes are not as important as say, a massive crisis, but whenever people are ordering food for a large group. Not that I expect them to cater to my every whim – otherwise we’d be eating 2 year old aged cheddar and proscuitto at literally every meal. But, if someone is a vegetarian, that’s taken into account, so what about the opposite? What about us meatatarians?

Yes, it would be difficult to have something for everyone – I totally get it. But, if you’re going to remove meat for one person, why not veg for another? Is a cheese pizza so outrageous? Yes. Outrageously delicious.

Anyway, I’m probably just ranting because I’m super hungry. I know, I know, it’s all my own fault.

But next time… just kill a couple animals or two? Okay? A pig, a cow, a chicken… whatev. In the meantime, it’s a good thing I keep a box of granola bars at my desk. And soup. And peanut butter. And candy. I’ll be juuust fine.

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