Harlem Globetrotters lay the trots all over the Generals

9 Apr

Toronto – In action down at the Rogers Centre last night, the Harlem Globetrotters defeated the Washington Generals 103-80.  The Generals put up a valiant effort while trying to break their losing streak that stretches back to 1971, but couldn’t overcome a comically impressive Globetrotter squad.

From the beginning, the referee was clearly jaded against the height-advantaged Globetrotters, as well as the Generals coach, who ranted about the losing Toronto teams. No comment came from the crowd. The referee made himself equally unpopular with the Toronto crowd, proclaiming, “This isn’t a party! This is a basketball game! No funny business!”

The Generals went down by 12 in the first minutes of the game and could never recover.  At one point in the 3rd quarter they were losing by 29 points.  This wasn’t helped by the fact that four seconds into the game Washington Generals #14 had his uniform stripped from him by Thunder and a fashion show commenced as he ran screaming from the court. The Generals later attempted their own fashion show distraction by holding a purse Hi-Lite brought onto the court, but this was deemed as silly by the referee and resulted in Hi-Lite getting sent to the penalty box.

The wide margin slimmed substantially as the squad from Washington outpaced the Globetrotters from the 4-point circle, regardless of Bones’ three 4-point shots in a row.  Despite the referees sending 8 different Globetrotters to the penalty box, the Generals comeback bid came up short as Harlem coasted to an easy victory with alleyoops, school yard no-look passes, buckets of water and a photo-shoot mid-game in a tutu.

In the third quarter basketball was temporarily discarded as the Globetrotters opted to show their athletic prowess in a game of football. With a visit from what first appeared to be Teen Wolf, but then switched to Michael Jackson in Thriller, the Globetrotters then impressively reversed time, ending with Buckets sitting in the net. Sensing things were getting close to the end, the Generals brought in a ringer, Global Toronto meteorologist Anthony Farnell. Unfortunately for the Generals, it didn’t help their chances.

Sarge’s response after the game consisted of “Shoes? Y’all keep wanting me to sign SHOES!”

Thunder was the leading scorer with 18 points in the night.  Flight Time had a game high 2 pantsings.

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