Tag Archives: funny

Babysitting – Not Just For Teens

15 May

Okay fellow readers – I’m about to get real explainy here. As we all know, I babysit. No, I’m not 12. But, a lot of people do ask me why I do it – why I dedicate hours outside of my well-paying, satisfying, and very full-time job, to caring for small, pooey little beings that on occasion, cry, throw-up, or poo.

Here is why:

  1. I like it. Babysitting is fun. My mom used to administrate child care centres, so I pretty much grew up in day care. After I was old enough to not need to go anymore, at around the age of 10 or 11, I began to help out after school or in the summer, and would watch kids in the infant or toddler room. I’m an only child, so I’ve never felt like I had to take care of kids or anything – it’s always been fun. Kids are hilarious (and pooey), and they keep me entertained.
  2. It’s super easy. Some people get freaked out with kids and think it’s a lot of work, but honestly, you’re just playing with them. Full-day gigs can be really, really tough, and a lot of work, but most babysitting jobs you’re just there for a few hours to play with the kids, get them ready for bed, and then you’re free to watch their cable TV, eat their grapes, and enjoy some time by yourself.
  3. Oh my goodness man, the money! Babysitting can pay between $15-$20 an hour, and because it’s not crazy difficult, you’re basically making additional pocket money to play with some really cool kids toys (honestly, they have some sweet stuff now), and hang out. You go home, and you also sometimes have some really good jokes to share, or some golden lines like this one, courtesy of the four-year old I watched Friday night: “If my bum was my head, I would have poo coming out my mouth.” Me: “Yes, but you don’t have poo in your mouth.” Kid: “No, but sometimes throw-up, and throw-up is brown.”

Day 4: Cuba Continued

5 Mar

Since it’s such a super crap rainy day out, we thought we’d warm you up with the continued adventures of Him & Her in Cuba.

After our adventures in Varadero the day before, we decided to take it relatively easy. After all, we were on vacation. We woke up relatively early and after breakfast (more crepes!), headed to Quite Pool for some reading/drinking action.

This brings me to Vacation Gripe #1: saving seats.

Honestly people – are we in grade 1? Why do people resort (haha – I hope you get that pun) to tactics they haven’t used since grade school just because they’re on vacation? Is it just because they figure since they’re not at home, no one they know will find out what assholes they are?

People save seats like love notes from your first boyfriend down there. It’s insane! We would walk to breakfast around 8 or 9 in the morning, and people already have towels, books, sunscreens, whatever, all marking chairs down by the pool. This is the kind of thing that drives me nuts. As we know from the “cutting in line” business our first day, I like rules – they’re meant to be followed folks.

On our last couple of days, things got seriously out of hand. There were NO seats by Quiet Pool, yet there were five chairs all “reserved” for a span of at least three hours – and that was only since we got there. I kept my eye on these chairs so I could let the people know that they were ruining Quiet Pool for other people, but they snuck in and got their stuff and LEFT while I was getting a margarita! I was super pissed. The next day the same thing happened (same five chairs), so instead of waiting for them to return, I moved their shiz and we sat in their chairs. They came by AGAIN while I was gone, commenting to themselves about their stuff being moved, which He overheard. It seriously boils my blood.

Anyways – back to the relaxing and fun part of vacation, because I’m getting riled up just thinking about those bastards.

While getting a drink from the swim-up bar, one of the funniest moments of vacation happened. An old woman came up to the side of the pool with her camera, creaked out “Ola Boris!” and took a picture of the bartender, Boris. Man, it was so funny. We imitated it a lot. And yes, that was one of the funniest moments.

In the afternoon (after a delish lunch), we moved things to Activity Pool and I went on the slide. They said it was just for kids, but that’s just one of the many benefits of being only 5 feet tall.

We even went to Cave Bar!

Tonight was BBQ Dinner night. We went and there was even more prosciutto! This time I thought ahead and took a whole buttload of it. The band that night was absolutely awesome. We bought their CD!

There was dancing in the square later that night. The band was awesome, and then out of nowhere this old couple got up and started doing the salsa! The guy had black BLACK dyed hair. And he was about 86.

Stay autotuned for more.

This Website Is The Bomb

18 Jan

White Ninja

Friday Afternoon Giggle

14 Jan

Thanks to my coworker Michelle for this one – it’s definitely made my afternoon!

Women Laughing Alone With Salads

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